Me, plunking Stinky Bastard Man’s carrier on the counter: hi he’s here for shots and a nail trim and he’ll need to be sedated

Nurse: Are you sure? We can try-

Me: he needs to be sedated

Nurse: Well, it’ll take longer-

Me: he needs to be sedated, he will try to rip your face off

Nurse: Well we’ll try without first and we’ll let you know if we need to sedate

Me, watching her carry him away: you will need to sedate him

Nurse, coming back 10 minutes later clutching her hand: so, we will need to sedate him

Me:

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Originally posted by justalittletumblweed

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A man with 3 caution stickers on his med file

Since this post blew up and people have asked for this villain’s record, here are some of Stinky Bastard Man’s more heinous crimes:

  • Screamed so loudly with such unbridled fury the one time he wasn’t sedated at the vet that he caused a little girl in the waiting room to burst into tears
  • Ripped an escape hole in the patio screen door in a single night
  • Snuck into the garage overnight where he managed to pull down his massive food bag from the top shelves, ripped it open and ate so much he couldn’t/wouldn’t move when we found him in the morning  
  • Learned how to open the laundry cabinet to sleep on the clean towels
  • Learned how to open doors, thus allowing the dog to follow in after who then eats from the trash
  • Bats off anything on our windowsills that gets in the way of his sitting. Current succulent casualty count: 4
  • Thankfully cannot open the bedroom door due to rusty mechanisms, but managed to slip in one night when it wasn’t fully closed. Jumped down from my windowsill squarely onto my stomach, leaving me to bolt awake screaming from the blow and convinced I was under attack
  • Tricked me into loving him forever anyway

Ripped an escape hole

in the patio screen door

in a single night

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

oh my god he’s THIS Stinky Bastard Man!!!!

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the stinky bastard man, the stinky bastard myth, the stinky bastard legend

game developers: our world is inhabited by unique creatures the likes of which you’ve never seen before!

game developers: and giant spiders

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This is the best AITA because on the actual matter at hand I'd say he's kinda right (ish), $4900 for a week of work is really good money and they can always celebrate later. He should have obviously talked it over with her first but still. What makes him an asshole (or just like, a really really weird person) is every other detail that is tangentially mentioned.

that's it you're going in the woodchipper

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hold on i need to look something up

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I really like when older folks make funny videos. There's no age cutoff for having a sense of humor or being silly.

also his sense of fashion? his tats? wonderful

bitches will hate me for woobifying cas and then love dean winchester. who do you think i learned the art of woobifying and wifeifying cosmic entities from? huh? who?

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he is describing an ancient warrior of god whose vessel is only one inch shorter than him. i learned it by watching him

nightpool:
“theroseandthebeast:
“ablessedblog:
“The kid will cherish this for their whole life. If they remember it.
” ”
went to look this tweet up so I could rt it and discovered this is the same dude as the tubthumping tweet masterpiece
”
ablessedblog

The kid will cherish this for their whole life. If they remember it.

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went to look this tweet up so I could rt it and discovered this is the same dude as the tubthumping tweet masterpiece


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be careful. watch a TV show during a major transition in your life and it might melt down your frontal lobe, without guarantee of it ever reforming

She let me hit it because I solved her riddles three

that how long do u take in the shower poll going around is taking me out girl what are u doing in there for 30 minutes 🤨

i wanna apologize for my former statement i have since been educated. femmes take as long as u need in the shower i will work harder to pay the water bill ❤️

una-lady-italiana:
“Divinità Femminile by Olivier Roller
- Musei Capitolini, Centrale Montemartini - Roma - 2012
”

Divinità Femminile by Olivier Roller
- Musei Capitolini, Centrale Montemartini - Roma - 2012

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